The many faces of ‘mum’

The many faces of Mum, who will I be today? Organised Mum, got it together Mum, scruffy Mum, lost the plot Mum?

Two years ago I was just charlene, just me. There was no other me, you loved me or you hated me I didn’t care either way. I prided myself of being so self sure in the sense that I knew who I was and embraced my personality.

I am convinced that every new Mum has some degree of an identity crisis, how can they not? Every mum could write an entire book of changes you go through becoming a mother so why wouldn’t your identity be part of that. One thing I am not so sure on, do daddies also go through this?

Everything I was so sure of has been turned on it’s head. I would be the first person to start up a conversation in a group, the first person to get on the dance floor all until I went to my first Mum/baby group. I felt like I was walking into the lions den, what will they think of me, what if they think I am a bad Mum, what if no one talks to me? Safe to say the first group I joined was full of chatty, easy going, judgement free mummies. I sat down ready for my first baby massage class and breathed a sigh of relief, all until my baby decided to scream and cry the whole way through and yet again panic set in. I drove home and said to myself we are not going back there my baby obviously hated it. The next week baby massage came around again and I thought just go she might be ok this time, so as we drove 30 minutes to the class I had words with my sleeping baby “now baby, we’re not going to scream the whole way through this week because you love a massage and you have the best time with mummy rubbing your chunky leggies”.

An hour later I had a happy baby that giggled and smiled the whole way through, all the other mums smiled also, that smile saying “see it was just a bad week”. 

I started to ask myself who am I now, why have I changed so much? I wanted to get back to me, the real me.

8 months into motherhood and Iv finally realised that this is me now and I am embarrassing it! I might not be as confident, as outgoing, as spontaneous but I am thoughtful, I am strong, and I am a Mum!

It’s convenient I write this on international women’s day because all women should embrace who they are not matter what stage of there personal journey they are on, know that there is a reason your changing. Be the best you, you can be.