Changing lives

That time has finnaly come where my little baby bubble has been popped and I have to make decisions.

I must have changed my mind a hundred times on what I think is best for my baby going forward and that’s where I was going wrong, I needed to think what is best for not only my baby but my family. 

I am now sat on a train on my way to London to discuss my return to work and my god am I nervous. Not for the meeting but for the outcome, for the change in routine, changes soon to come into my babies life. 

I have spent the last 10 months thinking what should I do in terms of going back to work. Not working was never an option for me, not only for the money side of things but the brain stimulation, adult interaction and independence. It was always a question of how much time do I want to spend at work and how much time is the ‘right amount’ of time. Well there is no golden rule, I wish there was but every family is different. I find myself justifying my choices when people ask me when I am going back to work and is grace going into nursery, is she staying with family, is she being cared for by accident aliens? This Mum guilt isn’t made up in my head, this is made up of people’s facial expression or the response ‘well your going to find that hard’ or ‘your going to be tired all the time’. 

I am a firm believer of things happening for a reason and I’ll do what I think will work for my family. And should I feel bad that I am looking forward to not wearing gym clothes, wearing my hair in a top knot, and watching peers Morgan in the mornings? Yes it’s going to be a change but all for the good! Happy mummy happy baby, in my eyes we will have the best life for us and the life we want. 

Now let’s not beat around the bush, I woke up this morning three hours before I had to leave the house and looked at my wardrobe thinking what do I wear, how do I do my hair. I took out my ‘go to’ work handbag and noticed it had dust on it, yep actual dust! I made it out of the house feeling a little stuffy and flustered but good, now to sit on the train enjoy the peace and a hot coffee! 

Bring it on world! Let’s see what’s in store for me this week!